How many would admit to be a bit of a cop-out Christo? You know the sort, believe the tenets, attend for the most part on a weekly, experience that two and a half hours of euphoria post a service, depending on how good the sermon was, how inspiring the music sung or how stress free the journey was to and from church. But yet despite all of the above, you feel less than inspired by Wednesday or if you are really going through the mire, Monday at 11.45am? Whisper it, you are not alone.
The thing is, in a modern world, where to believe is to be on the margins and to turn up to church is to feel some sort of, dare I say it, false achievement, it is so easy to get used to a spiritual life that runs on a reserve tank rather than full cylinders. The oblique ‘well, at least I showed up’ will suffice…and those soaring highs…like a delicious meal they can belong to a vague and distant memory and that in and of itself will suffice… or does it?
Challenged at church with an excellent sermon by Nicky Lee, I was left thinking long and hard about what it really was to be a disciple. The passage was one most know; Luke 9:51-62, Jesus calling people to follow him. Some were immediately up for the cause, others dithering, still others querying the implications, and prior to that is the random request from the disciples that fire be called down onto the Samaritans for their less than friendly reception. But on reflection I saw there was much to improve, as although I am very much in attendance at services, conferences and the rest, my levels of commitment oscillated between the righteous rage depicted by some of the twelve at the Samaritans and the procrastination illustrated by those who were called and weren't quite sure or couldn't be bothered as yet.
The gaps between these blog entries say it all. Cool Chic and in Christ commenced in a blaze of enthusiastic evangelizing energy on my part. However, as time has passed my energies have somewhat depleted as I have been either disappointed by certain responses, distracted by the minutiae of my own life or indeed enraged that not enough people ‘get it’ (‘it’ of course being entirely relative, rule no 1 of being a Christo, we are not the main event, regardless of how pretty a turn of phrase or indeed how pretty the frock). In short my resolve for the blog, the events and everything else JC related apart from church and prayer fizzled flat like a bottle of Coke left out after a picnic. Yes, I would concede there had been some progress in my discipleship walk: I had written a devotional, embarked on a tour, held events across the globe that got people interested who didn’t feel they were part of the eternal love story that is between everyone and God, or who may already believe but wanted to enjoy fellowship in a different format; in a space and place where they could discuss matters spiritual, cocktail in hand. Yes too, we offered prayer for all without any pressure or obligation. And when it went well I would be a liar if I said I didn’t have a flipping good time. But because it ultimately in my eyes hadn’t ‘all gone to plan’ I retreated. Kept silent and waited. Not in a particularly holy-roller way of waiting for the Lord for further instruction, but in a more simmering with rage that my efforts had amounted to what I felt was naught.
But the passage in church has brought me back to this blog and so too has the verse below that I close with: “The Harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Matthew 9:37. There really is no time to be part-time in our faith and in our walk. Between social and political turmoil, economic upheaval, a growing disparity between rich and poor, environmental degradation and the global pandemic of loneliness even though we are all supposedly more connected, there is much to be done, debated about and acted upon. So welcome to this resurrected blog which will discuss pretty much everything under the sun, or at least the things I feel worthy of sharing my opinion of. Faith will come into most, of it, ideally all but I won’t promise much more other than as a disciple of our Lord and Saviour, I shall try to keep it consistent and I look forward to you all joining me on the journey.
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