Of Booties and Benefits

Another week and another withering attack pointing the finger at a famous lady for the ills of  society. Dr Wright, headmistress of terribly posh girls’ school St. Mary’s Calne is not happy because the girls under her care might be led astray by the potty mouthed tweets coming from Tulisa’s account. This is followed closely after her vituperative outburst that Kim Kardashian sums up everything that is wrong with society." But forgive me if I am wrong but what would you expect from two ladies who’s major claim to fame (commercial endorsements and alleged singing and designing ‘talents’ aside, and for anyone about to j’accuse me of being a hater, just pop either lady’s name in google and see what comes up for yourself), are sex tapes or  pictures of them in not very much, pouting/and or smiling for the  press and waiting for the cheques to come in? Matthew 7 begins with Jesus telling us not to judge for we too will be judged, but as Dr Wright has illustrated, it is easy and indeed human nature to try and apportion blame.

However, I believe the problem does not lie at any particular individual’s door and Matthew 7 proves just that: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew7:3. It is us, the individual members of society who tune into planet celeb who are the real problem.  Kim, Tulisa, et al are the sawdust, we  on the other hand are the plank that could double up as a table leg. Harsh, but oh so true. The fact remains that if we weren’t a willing audience then there would be no market for either the lifestyles proffered as an example to follow, products sold to a willing crowd or increasingly outrageous tweets put out there to get folk suitably excited, dismayed or more prosaically remaining interested. What does it say about a society when a large part of our interaction be it in person or online is focused on the choices and behaviours of people we do not know or will probably never meet? To my eye, the fixation with celebrity is just another God shaped hole that people are trying to fill with something that is distracting enough to dull the ache but neither emotionally or spiritually satisfying to fill the void. We would all do well to heed our Lord’s counsel and work on our own interior life before we make another person the issue or the problem.

In other news David Cameron is facing criticism for returning to a Conservative Party election promise to slash benefits. The Opposition have been quick to attack; Dave so happy to kick the poor and done-ins  down, whilst he sorts out his mates and more affluent supporters with freezes on  the top rate of tax. Whilst we have all become immune to spin and know that politicians on all spectrums are quick to offer sound bites to further their agenda, it is interesting to note from a Christo perspective both sides have a point.

In Deuteronomy 14 God gives extensive instructions on ways of living for the Israelites to follow. It Is from this  passage the concept of the 10% tithe is laid out. Additional to this Ancient  Spiritual taxation system is the following addendum that is often not dwelled upon  “At the end of three years bring all that year’s produce…so that the Levites and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied.” Deuteronomy 14:28-9. It is not right to horde resources and wilfully deny those in your community or as this passage explicitly offers those who may be on the margins, support and assistance. A meagre sum that is enough so that they are at not death’s door is not what is specified. The word ‘satisfied’ implies not only a certain level of comfort but also contentment. We do not live in agrarian times, but our tithe to those less fortunate than ourselves need not be financial. It could be our time, or sharing our expertise.  Perhaps help on writing a CV? Or offering to babysit when someone needs to get to a job interview but doesn’t have childcare? Even donating a capsule working wardrobe as I did to a junior assistant at a bank I worked for in Nigeria…
Her statement of thanks said it all: ‘Madam, now I look like where I am going, by God’s Grace.”

But conversely the Bible is pretty clear that professional dossers are neither to be supported or sympathised with: Paul’s damning indictment on idleness is there for all to see in 2 Thessalonians 3 but this kicker verse “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10  has been adopted by many a more hard-line believer. The problem with not working is not entirely one of economics. Work provides us with a vital social benefit too. It gives us purpose, allows us to contribute to our community; it engages us with others and takes us a little more out of our own heads, and innate self-centeredness. To take from a community and not contribute to it, points to a certain contempt for that community. It breeds an ‘I deserve’ mentality. It kills compassion. This I hasten to add is not an indictment on the long term poor either; the same argument can be used as a cause for censure for those whose sole purpose is to be a socialite and bask in their super=rich status. The glossy sorts who live off opaque trusts based in the Cayman Islands or some less exotic locale (Isle of Man anyone? I thought not..) are just as underserving as those who are extras on the Jeremy Kyle Show. Both groups  might argue it is ‘their money’ or ‘their rights’ that are being attacked. But is it really if it is at the cost of those who have chosen to work, to contribute, to carry the load rather than dodge it? I say it’s time we did like Paul and turned our backs on them both. 

Living The Brand

If like me, you like to cut a sartorial dash; then the next few Saturdays may seem like a bit of an assault course. It is after all wedding season. You know, the time of year where we try very hard not to swear at the SatNav as it takes us round that country village for the 'nth time, or when the tube stalls indefinitely in a tunnel and we end up missing the all-important vows that we’ve come to witness, and get a  stiletto caught running up an escalator to make up for lost time.  And don’t even get me started on the horror of discovering a ‘twin’ at the reception wearing exactly the same thing as you, most likely also picked up in the sales in a blind panic, when you realised that you had sod=all to wear in the first place. And then of course there is that old chestnut all Christo chicks face, how to look Threshing Floor Hot or Patriarch’s Wife Pretty without straying into harlot territory.

Well I can’t promise you won’t have journey drama and it won’t rain on the day but I have discovered a fabulous line that answers our fashion prayers called Beulah London. Before I had scrolled through all the looks I was excited by the name alone as a biblical reference is always encouraging: “For you will be called Hepzibah, and your land Beulah.” Isaiah 62:4.  For those of you who did not take Hebrew 101, Hepzibah means “my delight is in her” and Beulah means “married”, so already the promise of wedding banquet compliant attire is there in the name. The designs do not disappoint. Right now I am dithering between the Buttercup and the Blossom, and a word to my friends: I would happily agree to be a bridesmaid if I got to wear the floor length Poppy dress!

The Poppy

The Blossom

But what makes Beulah London even more special is the empowering philanthropy that is behind the brand. Every item is either made by or helps support women who have either been trafficked or who have survived the horrors of being a sx worker. And the two ladies behind it are most definitely cool chic and in Christ. To find out more about their work in India and of course to go wild in the shopping aisles visit www.beulahlondon.com

Great Dad? Bad Dad? No Dad? The True Father's Perspective

Father’s Day is upon us and doubtless there are many men out there who are getting the chance to be spoilt rotten. Breakfasts in bed, a boys only kickabout, a framed portrait of Pops and his daughter and a brand new car are just some of the presents I have got the inside skinny on...Lucky all of them is what I say!

But what of those who approach this day with past pain? After all for every happy family tableau there are many that are less so. What comfort for those who experienced an absent father, a violent father, an ambivalent father? Or those who’s father has passed away and the cheerful scenes they may encounter today make them all the more lonely? Thankfully, for all believers we can look to our Father in Heaven.

God's love is both real and practical and in spite of past misdemeanours he is keen to forget: "Come now, let us settle the matter" says the LORD, "Though your sins are like scarlet; they shall be white as snow." Isaiah 1:18. A show of hands please, of any of the earthly fathers out there who would be so calm and understanding in the light of full on rebellion and general disobedience? I thought so... 

What is most encouraging for all of us is that God's love surpasses any other expression of love we may have received as He is Love (1 John 4:16). Accepting God's love as our own means that every day is Father's Day, as the Father of ALL creation, loved us all from the beginning and will love us all to the end. If our fathers are fantastic and are still knocking around God will love them and guide them in their excellent work. For the fathers who are or were less A star in there performance God not only accepts and prompts them towards a better path, but also comforts those closest to that negative experience and who felt the collateral damage most. To the fathers in heaven who are now chilling in heaven, and are sorely missed; He will continue to keep an eye out on the children left behind and keep those happy memories shining bright. 

Finally, let's take a look at two verses from good old St Paul and go about having a day that is based on the right perspective: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus Our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Aren't we the lucky ones to call the creator of all things past, present and yet to come, who vanquishes demons and is love infinitum Dad? Happy Father's Day to all my siblings in Christ.

Husband Choosing for Dummies

So, word on the street (well, the newspapers at least) is that who you marry is probably the biggest decision a woman is likely to make, that to pick a supportive husband is even better, and wouldn't it be good if girls were told this as early as possible. Ideally before divorce number three (forgive me Father for the facetiousness). But am I alone to state that it all seems like, well, a pretty obvious statement? However, what has been interesting about the comments made by Helen Fraser, CEO of The Girl’s Day School Trust, earlier on this week at the organisation’s annual conference, and which in turn were an addendum to a statement made by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg that, and I quote "The most important career choice you'll make is who you marry." is how they have mushroomed into a cornucopia of articles. Some from the usual suspect indignant feminists argue that a successful and fulfilling climb up the career ladder needn't require a man, still others claim that 'women didn't need to be told, much less taught how to select a spouse', and of course there are the subtle pot-shots at poor Helen Fraser and her organisation itself, she is after all just another posh person telling 'the rest of us' how to live.

I wade in fully and honestly biased. Firstly, many moons ago, I attended a school of the ilk that Helen's organisation chairs. During my time there we had an aggressively feminist headmistress; the home economics wing was pulled down and in its place a Design and Technology studio was put up. Academic ambition was drilled into all, whether you were a B minus kinda gal or not, and though there were many, things I loathed at school the 'you can do anything even though you are a girl' ethos definitely had its plus points and I still appreciate it to this day. Secondly, although the school was a Christian foundation, the RE lessons were a carte blanche for girls to retouch their nails and torture the teacher. Usually in that order. And marriage selection and its implications? Sadly no mention was made in RE, or in any other class that all the good work at making us potential masters of the universe or whatever field took our fancy could come undone with a dud choice for a spouse. I wish it had been on the agenda, and the fact that to date, I have attended very few weddings of girls from my alma mater, although some of them seem to have done thoroughly well for themselves in other areas of their lives seems to point to the same. Most of us want to share our lives with someone, and one of our times' greatest tragedies is that this sharing often doesn't go the distance, and that all stems from choices made based on information known.

In a world where we are told what to do and how to be and certain ideals are upheld with almost little or no discernment, in spite of the societal breakdown at an unrelenting pace, isn't it time we re-examined the locus from which we make life partner choices? The march of secularism has been accredited for all sorts of progressive advances for women, the greatest one being that now, in a world, less governed by certain social, cultural, and religious mores women are at an age where they can truly be free and the choices we make are ours alone and thus better. However, I beg to differ. Tucked away at the end of Proverbs is a passage which shows that in Ancient Biblical times there seemed to be no need for a crash course in avoiding jokers who will jack your career path. Proverbs 31:10-31, often referred to more colloquially as the Wife of Noble Character is a passage where an amazing woman is described, who as the title of the passage suggests clearly had a husband. She is not bored, frustrated, under the thumb or bone idle. She is a business woman (Prov31:16-18), a philanthropist (Prov31:20), a fashionista (Prov31:21) and a beloved mother and wife to boot (Prov31:26-29). There it is in the Old Testament, a woman who is having it all, being appreciated for it with no need to attend a class or hear it from a high flying executive. So let's not be fooled by that old ruse that to be religious is to somehow be chained by a misogynist patriarchy, as things were clearly ticking along quite nicely back in the day.

The following verse in the passage holds a clue for our divorce filled, broken relationship times; the writer concludes "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs31:30. We live in a world where to be charming and beautiful is everything, and the fear of the Lord part? We can take it or leave it. Whether it is shmoozing the boss to get that promotion or being considered an A1 babe, those are the qualities that not only society, but if women are really honest, as they too are part of society, often place above all others. And when men do the same women blame them for their shallowness, or cry foul at the media, or start a more radical diet than the last. The biggest clue to getting a great hubby in my humble opinion is selecting a man who wants the full package: a Proverbs 31 woman. Not someone who is hazed by a banging figure, tickled pink by a dulcet voice or boasting to all of his peers about his lady's various accomplishments. It starts, as with all things God related, with the heart. A heart that is focused on things beyond our fleeting time on earth, and our very mortal and eventually failing bodies. A shift in perspective is often the difference between an excellent choice and a rubbish one.

I close this, with a challenge for my readers, if you're a lady and single, on the next date casually ask the chap some interior led questions. If you're a chap and single, check out the bible passage and ask yourself if it really resonates or if the Megan Fox/Beyoncé look-a-like is the only non-mover on your movable list of ideals you are looking for. If you are a hubby tell your wife the bits of the passage that pertain to her with some examples - she will love you for it forever. And finally for the married ladies, make this passage your project plan rather than any other nonsense out there!

This is my favourite article from the deluge that have come out - the reader's comments are worthy of a blog in and of themselves!

The Riding House Café

A big juicy Amen for the people behind The Riding House Café. Who cannot possibly love this place? All day dining that doesn’t dictate to you when you should be hungry; double dip recession /Euro in crisis/nobody has a job for a life or will probably have a state pension friendly prices and a genuinely innovative selection of small plates amidst the bistro classics; all delivered in cool yet comfy surroundings. I’m in heaven. Almost. As an unreconstructed carnivore I keep coming back for the beetroot carpaccio with sheep’s ricotta and merlot vinaigrette, which is every bit as satisfying as a beef one. And only £4.00. I know, I second the Praising the Lord at the price too!
The Riding House Café, 43 – 51 Great Titchfield Street, London W1W 7PQ.

Part Time When There’s No Time

How many would admit to be a bit of a cop-out Christo? You know the sort, believe the tenets, attend for the most part on a weekly, experience that two and a half hours of euphoria post a service, depending on how good the sermon was, how inspiring the music sung or how stress free the journey was to and from church.  But yet despite all of the above, you feel less than inspired by Wednesday or if you are really going through the mire, Monday at 11.45am? Whisper it, you are not alone.

The thing is, in a modern world, where to believe is to be on the margins and to turn up to church is to feel  some sort of,  dare I say it, false achievement, it is so easy to get used to a spiritual life that runs on a reserve tank rather than full cylinders. The oblique ‘well, at least I showed up’ will suffice…and those soaring highs…like a delicious meal they can belong to a vague and distant memory and that in and of itself will suffice… or does it?

Challenged at church with an excellent sermon by Nicky Lee, I was left thinking long and hard about what it really was to be a disciple. The passage was one most know;  Luke 9:51-62, Jesus calling people to follow him. Some were  immediately up for the cause, others dithering, still others querying the implications, and prior to that is the random request from the disciples that fire be called down onto the Samaritans for their less than friendly reception. But on reflection I saw there was much to improve,  as although I am very much in attendance at services, conferences and the rest, my levels of commitment oscillated between the righteous rage depicted by some of the twelve at the Samaritans  and the procrastination illustrated by those who were called and weren't quite sure or couldn't be bothered as yet.

The gaps between these blog entries say it all. Cool Chic and in Christ commenced in a blaze of enthusiastic evangelizing energy on my part. However, as time has passed my energies have somewhat depleted as I have been either disappointed by certain responses, distracted by the minutiae of my own life or indeed enraged that not enough people ‘get it’ (‘it’ of course being entirely relative, rule no 1 of being a Christo, we are not the main event, regardless of how pretty a turn of phrase or indeed how pretty the frock). In short my resolve for the blog, the events and everything else JC related apart from church and prayer fizzled flat like a bottle of Coke left out after a picnic. Yes, I would concede there had been some progress in my discipleship walk: I had written  a devotional, embarked on a tour, held events across the globe that got people interested who didn’t feel they were part of the eternal love story that is between everyone and God, or who may already believe but wanted to enjoy fellowship in a different format; in a space and place where they could discuss matters spiritual, cocktail in hand. Yes too, we offered  prayer for all without any pressure or obligation. And when it went well I would be a liar if I said I didn’t have a flipping good time.  But because it ultimately in my eyes hadn’t ‘all gone to plan’ I retreated. Kept silent and waited. Not in a particularly holy-roller way of waiting for the Lord for further instruction, but in a more simmering with rage that my efforts had amounted to what I felt was naught.

But the passage in church has brought me back to this blog and so too has the verse below that I close with: “The Harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Matthew 9:37. There really is no time to be part-time in our faith and in our walk. Between social and political turmoil, economic upheaval, a growing disparity between rich and poor, environmental degradation and the global pandemic of loneliness  even though we are all supposedly more connected, there is much to be done, debated about and acted upon. So welcome to this resurrected blog which will discuss pretty much everything under the sun, or at least the things I feel worthy of sharing my opinion of. Faith will come into most, of it, ideally all but I won’t promise much more other than as a disciple of our Lord and Saviour, I shall try to keep it consistent and I look forward to you all joining me on the journey.