Are You A Church B****?

It’s 9.45 am. Service starts at 10.00 and you have given yourself an internal pat on the back for not only resisting swearing your way through traffic to get to church on time, but also singing worship songs all the way and having general thanksgiving type thoughts for the week just passed. Plus you have managed to save seats for your closest friends and there’s brunch to look forward to as well, perhaps you will try that new place that just opened and everyone is talking about, you muse to yourself, smoothing down  your new outfit, which thankfully is church compliant too. Midway through this gentle revelry, you are interrupted by a tap on the shoulder;

“Can I take a seat?” says a smiley stranger, you certainly have never seen in church. Do you:

A)     Smile sweetly and say, ‘I’m terribly sorry but these seats are taken’, before directing the newbie to other spare seats in the church.

B)      Look the newbie up and down, before saying quietly but firmly, ‘No these seats are not free’ throwing a scarf, handbag, mobile and anything else you have onto your reserved seats.

C)      Sigh audibly, let the newbie sit, but when your friends come make a song and dance of all squeezing into the allotted space, maybe the newbie will get the message and shift.

D)     Let the newbie sit, you and your friends still squeeze into the space anyway, but make absolutely no attempt to engage the newcomer, bar a weak handshake during the Peace.

If you are nodding to any of the above, or have done even a slightly ‘kinder’ modified-for-your-environment of any of the above, or done something, not quite the same but vaguely reminiscent, and felt bad about it, but justified your actions anyway (it’s all in the context darling), then you are officially a Church B****. That’s right, you may have turned up on time, be filled with ‘By God’s Grace’ and ‘Thank you Lord’ lyrics, and be wearing an outfit that screams ‘Holy Stylish’ but you are a meanie in the house of the Lord, and you are probably the cause of a lot of pain, shame and in the worst instances, abandonment altogether of not only the pews, but also the Good News.

Christos are meant to be in this world, but not of this world, and the moment we get into the cliquey, excluding zone, we reflect some of the worst aspects of human nature, rather than the God breathed one, given to us by his unending grace. Answer A is faux helpful, but let’s be real, there is no real welcome. Answer B, is outright rude and with the spreading of items, confrontational. Answer C is the worst sort of passive aggressive behaviour, although I applaud the thick-skinned newcomer who endures  and sings loudly for added measure, and Answer D, would have any vulnerable individual convinced that they are not welcome and may not be worthy of the love and care of God or his people.

When we find ourselves getting into a bit of a social routine at church, it is probably a sign to shake things up. Whilst yes, we are a family, and inevitably we will get closer to some parishioners  more than others, we should also be mindful that by being in Christ, we are part of one body that has many parts and are thus all of equal import and value. As Paul succinctly states:

“If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it.”

1 Corinthians `12:26

So, if church has become a bit like a member’s club for you, with your ‘set’ firmly in place, remember, that your ‘set’ is just one tiny part of the body of Christ. And that individual that you either inadvertently or intentionally freeze out is also part of Christ’s body. Be kind to them and Christ himself rejoices, push them out and you wound Jesus himself with your frosty, ice-queen attitude.  And for those wanting to banish the Mean Girls tendencies for good, maybe invite the newcomer to brunch, we are after all one big, messy but happy family. And God loves us all the more for it.