LENT 2.0

I have a sin to confess. No nothing that will get me arrested per se; but a sin nonetheless. In spite knowing in my deep-deep (let’s call that multiple Holy Spirit promptings), that I should be writing and regularly posting on CCC I have let this blog run fallow. Yes, there is an Instagram page (coolchicandinchrist) and yes, I have invited pretty much everyone I know to follow, submit their own mini testimonies and picture so that I can add them to what will hopefully become a never-ending wall of Christos (please do to coolchicandinchrist@gmail.com), but apart from that nothing. Circumstances got in the way of the promised all-singing-all-dancing shiny reboot in my last post, and my irritation at this fact, coupled with a lack of diligence in writing regularly and the usual suspect distractions of everyday living have rendered 2017 ‘til now, and this is super embarrassing for me to type, post free year. However, as with any Christo knows, in Christ one is a new creation thus I am using this Lenten season to start afresh and hopefully make CCC a space where regular discussions happen about what it is to be a Christo today.
 

Lent, with its focus on penance, fasting and reflection has always had a reputation as a ‘Downer’ season in the Christian calendar. After the full on festival that is Christmas, with its cast of characters and story so potent that even non-believers get involved and embrace its central message of Hope and Love manifest in a baby in manger, Lent is often seen as the plaster one has to pull off before we can get on with the business of eating Chocolate Eggs at Easter. However, as my earlier confession points out, Lent can be seen not only as a season of self-denial and flagellation but also an invitation to grow closer in relationship with God.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” Psalm 32:3

Guilt and shame are two very potent emotions that corrode intimacy, and ultimately the freedom promised in a relationship with God. This week, found me in hospital with severe food poisoning and a dash of typhoid, but the pain and discomfort, though horrible was as nothing compared to times when I have felt truly guilty or ashamed. Emotions unlike symptoms can be replayed in the mind, and it is in the reliving that they continue to have life, something the Enemy knows only too well. Silence too is the perfect accomplice, keeping one feeling trapped and governed by negative feelings.

“Then I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” Psalm 32:5

Confession, whether you are in the Catholic tradition or not is a powerful tool in overcoming the power that sin can have one over one’s life. In speaking out the wrongs be they thought or deed you acknowledge two things; first that you know they are bad and second that it is only God that can bridge the gap between our mortal brokenness and his infinite perfection. As the Psalmist points out with confession comes forgiveness, and with forgiveness new possibilities, as is expounded upon in the rest of Psalm 32. 

One of my greatest fears as a Christo is that I should get so bogged down by feeling guilty and ashamed about any number of things that it renders me paralysed to do my God given work, and run the race that has been marked out for me as evoked beautifully in Hebrews:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2.

It is what brings me back here, with my old-school blog, not fretting that there aren’t thousands of comments or that posts are not going viral, or feeling embarrassed and ashamed that my activities are not bringing in the bumper harvest for the Lord. Perfectionism is just a nice word for pride as it is only in God’s love and mercy that any of us come close to being perfect. So, if like me you suffer from an urge for everything to be just-so that it renders you doing nothing at all, make the verses in Hebrew your mantra this season.

So this Lent, though yes I will fast and follow the classical lectionary I am taking a different approach. This is not a season where one girds one’s loins, holds one’s breath and ploughs through kicking yourself for every mistake, wrong turn and poor choice, but rather it is one where one explores all the nooks and crannies of your Christo journey so far, with an open heart seeking to learn through the lens of God’s love and teachings. It is a time to draw near to a Lord whose mercies endure forever, who is desperate for us all to let our guard down and live a life anew in his boundless Love.

REFLECTIONS ON WAITING

Time is a curious thing. When we are younger we see our life stretching out before us like a sprawling vista. As we get older, the patterns, routines and milestones can seem metronome like in their regularity and inevitably: school, university, career, marriage, children, retirement, death. But as anyone knows, life doesn’t follow neat patterns and curveballs can come that not only disturb the patterns but upend them completely.  Another truism is our approach to time completely alters with age. From having too much of it we morph to feeling we don’t have enough of it. Fears might creep in that we might leave this planet having failed to achieve what we felt called to do, or worse having felt that we were never called to do anything in particular to begin with. Today has had me thinking of time for many reasons: first it is the first Sunday of Advent, a time where Christians worldwide begin to prepare for Christ’s coming at Christmas, second because today to the day is 10 years since I began my journey as an accidental evangelist with the publication of my devotional, Heaven in Your Handbag and third this is also the day that would have been my mother’s birthday were she still alive. So, what are my reflections on the time that has passed, in the last decade or so, and  indeed the time one has left, and what does it speak to regarding a believer’s walk with the Lord?

A lot has changed since that cold winter’s day in 2006. For a start, I no longer live in Notting Hill, earning a living from a rewarding but precarious ‘portfolio career’, pin-balling from one disappointing date to the next, trawling the vintage stores for the perfect couture piece and spending my Sunday evenings chewing carpet at any number of churches (HTB, St. Mary’s and St. Paul’s – thank you!) and asking God the perennial ‘big questions’ “Lord, What next? Lord, Why not? And Lord, if not now When?” The questions are still there, if they’re not then I would challenge any believer that their faith isn’t growing, but my location has changed as has how I ask questions: I type this from my marital home in Lagos, Nigeria. If I was a betting lady, I would not have thought this is how it would all pan out (lest, I forget, I thought I’d already met ‘the one’ and he was just being obstinate and not going to Cartier quick enough), but, it was the very moment I stopped fixating in God answering my prayer like one would ask the waiter how you’d like a steak done (medium rare since you asked) I met my real-deal Boaz having moved to Nigeria based on just two things: a repetitive prayer prompting and a job offer. It was an adventure, and looking back spoke to what is so succinctly put in the book of Hebrews:

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

Since, my book’s publication I was sure that the shiny literary career would follow. After all, hadn’t the first fruits been for the Lord? Again, this was not exactly how it panned out; there was lot more interim but still perfect in his purpose work, a few vigorous jig for Jesus triumphs (a book tour, packed breakfast talks, the first Cool Chic and In Christ events where celebs rubbed shoulders with vicars, my first piece in a glossy fashion magazine), but there were also  a lot more disappointments, from losing my father, to close friends fading to black, and most surprising of all, fellow Christians attacking me when I dared to stand in my truth.  I say this not to create a martyrdom narrative from my experience but to illustrate that the walk, when you choose to completely follow it is never smooth. And some of those milestones I mentioned earlier do not always come exactly when you think they should, but with faith and perseverance will manifest at exactly the right point in time. I say not this as a ‘smug sorted’, I am still waiting and keeping it cheerful in the interim. For me, the only constant in everything has been Jesus. He was present in all my yesterdays and will be present in all of my tomorrows, it was bible verses that kept me going in times of trouble, it is worship songs that soothed my soul. Oftentimes, the Lord would plonk a random but divinely appointed stranger who would speak into my situations, but always, always Jesus was there, and he always cared and continues to do so.

So as Advent begins what can one hold onto in this time where we not only look back to Jesus initial arrival but look to his second coming too?

“Jesus went on to say, ‘In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.’” John 16:16

Classic biblical exegesis will conclude that this statement from Jesus points to the resurrection, especially when one considers where it comes in the gospel story, but I would also say that it could also be taken to point to Jesus’ ascension and second coming. Time space continuums are not the same for God as they are for us, especially as he is the one who created and developed them. A millennium is not even an eye blink to the author of the universe. If we, feeble people who if we are lucky may get a good clear six or seven decades in good health on this beautiful planet were to take the concept of his imminent return seriously, there would be a lot more purposeful behaviour and a sense of urgency on fulfilling our callings. After all, who wants to be caught not just napping on the job, but not on the job at all?

So, as we wait on the things we have prayed for, are still praying for, have not yet thought to but most definitely will be praying for, the key is to stay enveloped in his love and focused on our purpose. I have decided to expand mine on the elegant evangelism tip, CCC now has an Instagram account – follow us on @coolchicandinchrist, and share with all the people who matter in your life. Let’s see if we can create a global movement and a digital home for fashion loving, champagne drinking, dance all night, on fire for the Lord sorts. Whatever you love doing and are innately gifted in, do it with gusto as this is probably exactly what God wants you to do. The final account for our lives is ours alone, and ancillary factors will not really come into it, so live it with as much joy and boldness as you possibly can, because he really is coming soon. 

Mother of God, Feminist Icon

There is no doubt about it; modern Christianity definitely has a ‘woman problem’. Whether one considers the still unresolved issues in the Anglican Church around women bishops, or that of the 10,000 and counting Saints in the Roman Catholic Church the vast majority are male, or the fact that many of the new wave Pentecostal super-churches have reduced women to the unhelpful binary of ‘surrendered wife’ whose life work is subservience or ‘Jezebel Spirit’ who needs her own agency policed and judged at all times, it doesn’t really look particularly attractive being a believer and female. Whilst these contemporary battles continue to be fought, there is one obvious powerful woman we might be wise to return centre stage. And her name is Mary.

Today, if you are a practicing Catholic or a super High-Anglican one, chances are you will be celebrating the Feast of the Assumption. The orthodoxy goes, that Mary didn’t die and get buried but was assumed into heaven, where in her unique position as Mother of Jesus, she continues to intercede on our behalf.

I have been thinking a lot about Mary and feel that it is time for a new approach to her; whatever your denominational persuasion. After all it was through her body, that God chose to reveal himself in human form thus she was clearly remarkable. 

“Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.” Luke 1:28

This was not just a case of ‘rent-a-womb’ for the Lord, but rather an extraordinary and unique instance of God inviting a person to participate in his manifestation. When we consider her proximity to Jesus; raising him, nursing him, probably seeing his first step, and certainly with him to the end as he took his last breath on the cross, we see a stellar example of love, loyalty, constancy and obedience.

Mary’s power as intercessor for us all is buttressed in the fact that she was entirely human, and yet in her being steadfast and obedient, received an eternal reward from God. Her veneration in the Catholic tradition is feminist because it allows for a space where a woman can both occupy her bodily natural role of mother and carer but also take her place of leadership as Queen of Heaven. And to think we believe we invented the notion of the woman who can ‘have it all’! 

Furthermore, it is no surprise that the growth of female religious orders in the mediaeval era and the scholastic tradition that was their foundation, came at a time when it was standard to curtsey to a statue of the Madonna and Child, where an Abbess was an authority figure and much respected and the works of the likes of Hildegard of Bingen and Heloise of Argenteuil were celebrated across Christendom. As it stood during these times, when the Church had only endured one schism, Mary was the main attraction after the Divine Trinity. Her appeal lay in the dualism of her character; meek yet strong, powerful yet obedient. 

The lesson we can all learn from her is that true power comes not from job-titles, legislation or even equal-pay campaigns but from tapping into what God has already deposited in us, and thus reflecting his magnificence the world.

“I am the Lord’s Servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.”  Luke 1:38

As I imagine her in the heavenly realms, her destiny fulfilled on this earth, I pray for myself and all believers to be just like Mary, embrace servitude to the Lord fully, that he might manifest fully in us. A final word to my fellow feminist believers, it doesn’t get more next level blessed and powerful than the Mother of God herself! 

Faith Under Siege

Recently, I have been feeling like the Christian faith is under siege. Not from those who choose to not engage at all, or even those who follow faiths different to our own, but from something far more insidious, and damaging. Slowly, but surely, we are eroding from within, as we tie ourselves into knots that we have no chance of easily untying and focus on robust defenses of ‘issues’ rather than the very real work of reaching out to a world crying out in pain on many fronts. The internet has recently been ignited by a lengthy treatise by Kelsey Munger where she speaks of being tired of being a Christian. You can read the full piece, published in the Huffington Post here:

 www.huffingtonpost.com/kelsey-l-munger/im-tired-of-being-a-christian_b_10285128.html? 

What struck me about the writer’s lengthy, brutally honest essay is that she did not say she was tired of loving Jesus, or being stirred by the Holy Spirit or being protected by God. What she was tired of was what it meant to be a Christian today. The thing is, like it or not, Christians are increasingly being defined by what we are purportedly against and what we are meant to despise. From the arguments for and against women ordination and the levels of service they can play (bishops/ deacons/ welcome greeters at the front of the church / lurid exemplum of the Jezebel Spirit – delete as necessary), to attitudes to the LGBT community, right through to the hardy perennials such as the Pro-Life/Pro=Choice debate, Do-Or-Don’t-Do IVF and a whole lot more in between. Being a Christian, for the most part, if the media headlines are to be believed is about beating your drum against a whole swathe of modern and not so modern ills. It’s about placards and protests and intense bible verse heavy quoting trolling. As a life=long believer this makes me sad, as what is often absent from the knee-jerk reactions, the clamour to condemn, the judgment and the proclamations is the very thing that made Jesus so compelling and marked him out: his inexhaustible capacity for compassion and love.

Compassion is so absent in our world, and it can feel especially acute in a church. These spaces are meant to be spiritual hospitals open to all, where Jesus says: ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt11:28) and means it. If we who claim to know and love Jesus are not showing the same love and compassion, then somewhere along the way we have gotten lost and we need to find that track, the one dotted with grace and mercy and kindness and gentleness, and return to it, pronto. We need to take a moment as Jesus so often did to walk a nanosecond in the other person’s shoes. Jesus never had children, but look how he was so quick to perform miracles for parents who had lost theirs (Mark5:35-42 and Luke7:11-17). As a man, the monthly menses would have been a theoretic concept, but look how he sorted out the poor woman with the perpetual period lasting 12 years (Mark5:25-34). He never got married, but see how he ensured the wedding reception at Cana wasn’t a wash out and provided the best vintage for all (John2:1-11). These miracles weren’t big show off events, they were not about Jesus pointing out how much better he was than the rest of us, it was about him expressing empathy, loving people and meeting them at their point of need.

I truly hope and pray that Kelsey stops feeling tired of being a Christian, but hers and many others like hers’ plights are down to the thoughts and efforts of the rest of us: the silent majority who love Jesus but don’t trawl the internet looking for people who don’t share our beliefs to lambast. It is up to us, who may witness off-colour comments and attitudes gaining ground in our parishes or prayer groups and fellowships and choose not to challenge them for fear of upsetting the applecart. Yes, it is scary, but think how scary 1^st Century evangelism as seen in the Book of Acts must have been? And the Apostles still got on with it. We are the only ones who can save our faith, a faith which at its centre is love from being besieged by haters. We are the only one who can protect our flock both inside and outside from feeling condemned. We are the only ones who can trust that God in his grace and goodness will assist us in this greatest of challenges. 

Staying Hope Filled

Today is Pentecost Sunday! The Church’s Official Birthday, and for believers across the world, celebratory vibes should be the order of the day. However, I have a confession to make: birthdays are a bit of a mixed blessing of late, even with mine a little over a week away. On the one hand I can safely say I will never tire of cake, dressing up, opportunities to gather loved ones together, dance until limbs ache and generally have a fantastic time. However, there is also the horrible march of time thoughts; moments where I look back on years passed with a twinge of if only and why-ever-not?  Also, things might take a tiny bit longer to do than before and let’s not even begin talking about a face and body that might not have entirely kept up with your internal (delusional perhaps?) recollection of it!

Perhaps because as Christos we are always looking at our faith from the rather pleasing lens of both Jesus arrival and resurrection and the all-important outpouring of the Holy Spirit that happened at Pentecost, we forget how much waiting preceded it. We aren’t talking a few weeks as was the case with the disciples, we are talking whole centuries. Generations of people were born, went through life’s milestones, grew old and died and still with no Jesus arrived.  It must have been pretty hard to stay poso and upbeat in I-don’t-know-which hundred BC with stretch marks, crow’s feet, a scratchy tunic to wear and stuck in a dead-end position working one of the fields with less glamourous crops growing in it. And yet that was the lot of many believers during the ages of the Prophets. A time filled with hardship and bleakness, and the proverbial locusts eating years, opportunities, chances and joy.

Joel, one of the Minor Prophets in the Old Testament brings all of this to the fore: he talks about he years of lack vividly, evokes those wretched swarms of locusts eating people’s good years and captivity and every sort of hardship going. But then there is a change of tone, one that happens with the arrival of the Messiah and the restoration that follows:

“It will come about after this that I will pour out my Spirit on all mankind. And your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, your young men will have visions.” Joel 2:28

Joel was writing these words centuries before Pentecost Sunday, but there it is a promised - an outpouring of the Spirit of God. As we read the verse we see the extent of inclusiveness of this outpouring – it is for all mankind; men and women are equally blessed with the gifts of prophesy, and regardless of age all are mightily used by God.

We live an age that is obsessed with measurement. You are only as good as the external parameters out there and Youth and Beauty and Wealth are the new trinity rather than Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is simply untrue. The greatest gift, until Jesus returns once more is the Holy Spirit – which in other verses is referred to as the ‘Counsellor’.  Instead of seeking approval in the different trinities made by man, seek advice and direction from the Holy Spirit first. Trust that whatever your life stage, you are still of value to the Creator and that your contribution is vital and unique to you and of infinite import to the Kingdom. And if that piece of good news does not get you in a party mood, then just know we are living in the hope filled aftermath of all that happened before and as such can tap into the Holy Spirit whenever we need. I am off to sip some fizz and dance vigorously, I suggest you do the same!